How to Help your Tween Girl Have a Confident New Year

How to Help your Tween Girl Have a Confident New Year

Inside: Three ways to support your tween daughter in building her confidence, overcoming her challenges and improving your communication.

Get organized, set goals and build a positive mindset each month with the Chakra Girls 2019 FREE monthly calendar!


Just because the calendar flipped over to a new year doesn’t mean the challenges of being a tween have gotten any easier!

But the potential, the optimism and the annual tradition of setting intentions is also the perfect time to help set things up for a more confident new year for your tween daughter.

Here are three ways to help your daughter set the foundation for building confidence throughout the year.



One thing you can do to support your daughter, is to help her create strategies for overcoming the obstacles to confidence she may experience throughout her day.

Although there will be nuances for every individual, there are certain things tween girls often face: difficult emotions, friendship troubles and challenges at school.

In my work as a confidence coach and counselor, these are the most common topics I support girls and their families to work through. It is valuable to have a plan in place to deal with these challenges, so you’re prepared when they do arise.

Difficult emotions

As you likely know and experienced yourself, adolescence is a highly emotional time with spikes of good and bad. Your tween girl is right on the brink of that, facing the conflict of wanting independence, yet holding on to her childhood.

Her body is changing, relationships are evolving and confusion, excitement and sadness battle it out it seems like every minute to express themselves.

Phew! It’s exhausting just thinking about being back in that place of development.

Since you know these challenging emotions will arrive, it’s good to consciously create a plan to deal with them in advance, so your daughter is equipped with the emotional management strategies she needs to handle difficult situations that come her way.

Related: Creative Ways to Help Your Tween Girl Manage her Emotions

Looking for a creative way to help your daughter manage her emotions?

Check out the Chakra Girls Mood Ring!

Friendship troubles

Tween friendships are often tumultuous, especially for girls. It’s a time when some friends will drift away and new friendships will be forged. There may be feelings of loneliness and being left out as your daughter starts to experience the more complex dynamics of friendship is now that she’s a tween.

One way to combat friendship troubles that come up is to help your daughter create her own meaning of true friendship.

When girls learn to value authentic friendships, it will be easier to manage the feelings of loneliness that come from being left out of a group that’s not the right fit for her.

Related: Friendship Activity Download

Challenges at school

From dealing with a new school with different expectations to working with multiple teachers and new subjects, tweens have a lot to juggle when they make it to middle school. If your daughter is struggling with this transition, it can adversely impact her confidence.

Girls can often misinterpret their inability to perform to the same standard as they used to as a sign that they’re not good enough. When you and your daughter proactively discuss a plan to overcome possible obstacles to confidence before she experiences them, she’ll be ready for them when they do come.


The relationship between a mom and her tween daughter is unique and special.

Even though there will be natural ups and downs, it’s important to keep an open line of communication so your daughter can always feel safe knowing she has somewhere to go for help and comfort when she faces struggles when growing up.

It’s also important that she knows she can be her authentic self in front of you.

When you share conversation with one another, you have the perfect opportunity to help your daughter navigate her struggles in a way that protects her confidence.

Conversations in the car, at dinner and even right before bed can turn into your favorite times together. Really!

Related: How to improve your communication with your tween daughter


Another idea to set up the new year in a confident way is to help your daughter learn the practice of goal-setting.

There are many different ways to establish a goal-setting practice, but what’s most important is to help your tween daughter appreciate the journey of forward progress and the learning experiences along the way to achieving her goals.

And, it’s important to create a list of goals to achieve that are broader than a focus on just performance.

I also encourage the tweens I counsel to set goals for how they will spread kindness to others throughout the year and be the very best version of themselves.

What are your daughter’s goals for happiness? For adventure? For helping others?


No matter what our age, confidence is built when we take a chance to try something new, to put ourselves out there, to get better at something or move forward with a dream we have.

When your daughter sets intentions for the year, she has something to challenge her to grow.

She has a road map to refer back to at the end of the year to reflect on how far she’s journeyed.

And, learning experiences that will boost her confidence and belief that she can accomplish her goals.

Let’s Chat! What are three things you hope to learn for yourself (and will then naturally model for your daughter) this year? 

Mine are:

1. Contentment

2. Discipline

3. Patience

Share yours in the comments below, so we can support each other towards our goals!


If you’re looking for a creative, accessible way to help your daughter set goals, get organized and build confidence, then the Chakra Girls monthly calendar is for you!

I’ve made it easy to introduce setting goals for personal growth and to practice the power of positive affirmations with this colorful, free download.

Build Confidence and Voice with an Empowering Vocabulary

The Second Edition of the Inner Rainbow Project’s ABC is here! I updated the book with twenty new words, to promote even more action, advocacy, voice and unity.

From Abundant to Zen, this modern, one of a kind ABC book is designed to promote confidence and self-love in people of all ages.

Much more than just a book, Inner Rainbow Project’s ABC is a complete learning experience.

It includes a dictionary and learning guide with 100+ activities, exercises and questions for parents, teachers and counselors to use to create a holistic learning experience.

“Wow! I am honestly surprised by how what I thought would be a cutesy ABC book actually empowered ME right along with my 8 year old daughter.” – Krissy, mom of 2

4 Responses to How to Help your Tween Girl Have a Confident New Year

  1. Carly – I’m a mom of a tween girl AND boy as well as a school counselor. You are incredible and I simply LOVE the work you’re doing! Thank you! My intentions are: patience, presence and action. 🙂 #littlebutfiercewellness

  2. Hi Carly,
    I just came across your site via a google search. I’m loving your work already and planning to hand out here a lot!

    My intentions are: Discipline, organization and confidence.

    Thank you for your work.


    • I’m so glad you’re finding it useful and feeling like it’s a good place to hang out! Thank you for sharing your intentions. They’re similar to my current ones. 🙂

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