How to teach your daughter the value of self-care (and stop feeling guilty when you take time for it yourself)

How to teach your daughter the value of self-care (and stop feeling guilty when you take time for it yourself)

Dear Carly, I’ve been getting annoyed with my tween girl for little things she does and I know it’s not the best for our relationship. I feel bad for taking out my stress on her. I haven’t had time to myself to even breathe for the past few weeks and it’s been weighing on me.

I know that I should take some time for myself, but I feel so guilty about it. There’s so much to do and even when there’s down time, I feel like I should be doing something for my daughter, or researching something I could be doing better. How can I actually make the time for myself when there’s so much she needs right now? ~ Sad and Stressed

“How can I care for myself when I need to help her?”

I know how difficult it can be to create time for self-care when you have so much going on. You have the awareness of how important self-care is and you can see the negative effects of not taking the time. But, it’s still the easiest thing to let slide for the week when you’re really busy.

Self-care is undoubtedly important. It’s also really difficult for parents to fit in. The majority of parents, especially the moms I’ve worked with, have had difficulties creating time for self-care. They experience guilt when they care for themselves, thinking there’s always something else that they should be doing instead.

I get it. I struggle with the same thing too when it comes to practicing self-care. Yet, I experience the benefits each time when I am able to be more present and patient with my daughter.

Self-Care is important for both you and your tween daughter. Here’s how to do it together!
Read the full posts for more self-care tips!

As a devoted mom, it’s natural to want to do everything you can to support your child.

Rather than feeling guilty, what would happen if you involved your daughter in the process of bringing more self-care into your life?

Here are three ideas to help:

1. Bring it into conversation

Have a conversation with your tween girl about self-care. Explain what self-care does for you and how it helps you to bring yourself back into balance and to be a better parent. When your daughter understands the connection between you going to that yoga class or taking that breather and her not getting snapped at or nagged, she’ll ask you to go!

2. Invite her to participate

Choose a self-care activity that you and your daughter can do together, such as a family yoga class, an outdoor hike or a movie night. With homework, after school activities and social events, your daughter could be in need of some time for self-care too. By including your daughter in the experience, you’ll have a chance to decompress while teaching her the value of self-care for her own well being. You’ll get to spend quality time with her at the same time!

3. Hold each other accountable

It’s easy for self-care to be the thing that’s dropped for the week. Enlist your daughter’s help and hold each other accountable for at least one self-care act each week. Together, you can collaborate on creating a simple plan for checking in with each other at the beginning of the week to ask, ‘How will you care for yourself this week?’

To help you get started, I’ve created a Self-Care Worksheet.

This free printable will help you, your tween girl and your whole family stay motivated to self-care – helping you choose a form of self-care for the week and create a flexible plan together.

Click to download worksheet!

Or, get the whole guidebook!

Raising a tween girl and aiming to parent her mindfully (without losing your own?) 😊

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